100 Thoughts I Had While Watching Switched at Birth (01×01: This Is Not a Pipe)

1. When the bio teacher says “tongues”, it doesn’t match up to what she’s saying. What’s up with that?
2. “Excellent tongue control, Liam. It’s good to know for our future.” Me: (Coughs uncomfortably.)
3. Bay looks 16, so her casting was pretty accurate. The guy who plays Liam, on the other hand, played a doctor on “Grey’s Anatomy” a couple years ago. Because of this, I feel like they have a significant age gap.
4. If I had brought up the idea that I was a mutant from another planet, my older brother would’ve said, “That would explain so much.” What kind of brother is Toby? Not taking that as an opportunity to diss his little sis.
5. Bay’s right, John. “Blood don’t lie”, so it can’t be a mistake.
6. Blegh. Blood.
7. Why does the hand at the telephone spell R? Like, is it supposed to be RING, RING? Two R’s also means RESTROOM, but I doubt that’s it. It could be because her name is Regina, but that’s the mom’s name, not the Deaf daughter’s. Shaking the R also means READY, but I don’t think that’s it either. (I took American Sign Language up to level IV, so I’m familiar with the culture.)
8. So when the genetic counselor introduces Daphne and Bay, why doesn’t Regina interpret for her? I know they want to hold off on the ASL till Daphne signs and speaks for that dramatic reveal, but…well, I guess it’s not too impossible. She can read lips, but why does Regina not interpret anyway? Perhaps Daphne specifically asked her not to until she signed first?
9. DUN-DUN-DUH!!! Daphne is actually “DEAF-ne”! (I’ve wanted to make that joke for years, but I’ve never had the right time.)
10. I still love the opening credits and how “Switched” and “Birth” literally switch places. Even after half a decade.
11. You expect Regina to be more fluent in ASL since she’s known the language for as long as Daphne has, and she is best friends with a Deaf woman. Her signing has always been choppy to the point where I’m grateful that—you know what? That’s a spoiler way ahead of this episode. But, I mean, Regina’s fluent, but she’s never had a nice flow to her signing. Do you see what I mean? With Daphne, it’s natural, but Regina seems like she’s still rocky. Obviously, the actress can’t possibly be too confident in her ASL because she probably just learned it during the past few months, but if you want to portray the character realistically, you have to at least pretend that you know what you’re doing, right? She tried though. I’m getting that. And that’s what matters.
12. Hm…Daphne signed WASHES (probably), but not CAR. But I mean, she said “car washes”.
13. “No matter how loud you yell, she still can’t hear you.” Haha. I learned in ASL class that it’s rude not to sign what you’re speaking when you’re having a vocal conversation. It’s like witnessing two people speaking a foreign language that you can’t understand, only Deaf people can’t sense your tone so they have no idea if you’re talking about them or how you feel about them. So why didn’t Regina interpret that either?
14. He said “two NEW car washes”, Regina. You forgot to sign NEW! …But is that important?
15. I was about to question why Daphne wasn’t signing, but she’s the only Deaf person there. They’d be able to understand her.
16. When you’re talking about age, Regina, you always start from the chin. That’s your indication that you’re mentioning a person’s age. Why am I such a stickler for these rules? Daphne’s probably used to her signing anyway.
17. I love Daphne’s interpretation of the chicken factory! When you’re signing stories like that, it’s intended to be so dramatic. I think that’s why ASL and my theatre major go hand-in-hand. (Speaking of which, look up “Deaf Awakening”. It’s Spring Awakening, but with signing. It’s awesome! Sorry, I love theatre, too. Deaf Awakening is just a combination of both.)
18. I like how Regina was already about to sign NEAR a second after actually saying it. When she’s speaking, she implies hesitation, meaning she’s still thinking about what to say, but she jumped right into the signing. When you’re signing something, your brain can comprehend what you’re saying and signing at a pretty close rate. When you’re doing both at the same time, you tend to align your signs with your speech.
19. I made that meme a long time ago, but wasted half an hour looking for it. I have no clue what happened to it so I made another one instead.
20. How does “Daphne” come from “Daniel”? Isn’t the female version of the name “Danielle”? Or, if you wanted to fancy it up a bit, “Daniella”?
21. Daphne: I think “Bay” is a beautiful name. Bay: Of course you do. Me: Aaaaand what the hell does that mean?
22. Awkward silence.
23. Kathryn: Make yourself at home. Pretend it’s your house. Toby: Because technically, it is. Me: Crick-et, crick-et…
24. That seems like a little too much effort, don’t you think? Don’t make her feel like she’s a bother just because you’re so anxious to treat her like your own daughter.
25. Ahh…what would have been.
26. I like how Toby says that he’s out of there like there’s someplace he needs to be and then the first thing that comes out of Kathryn’s mouth is, “Would you show Daphne around?” I mean, what if he had his own plans to be someplace?
27. Tennis courts? Like, plural? That makes sense, because rich people. Our family friends, who are a couple and are both doctors, have their own basketball court. Actually, it’s a half-court. Oh, and their own elevator. A freaking ELEVATOR. And they built both of them in. They didn’t come with the house. They added them to the house. Rich people.
28. And then Daphne challenges Toby to a basketball game! Like, Toby just said he was going somewhere! Apparently, his presence at the other place wasn’t that dire!
29. “You can talk as much trash as you want. I can’t see your lips, I can’t hear you.” Well, that almost doesn’t seem fair, man!
30. Well, her signing may still be rocky, but at least Regina sounds like she knows exactly what she’s talking about when discussing Daphne’s deafness. So there’s that point for you, Constance Marie.
31. I get that she feels a small sense of judgment coming from Daphne’s biological parents, but Regina treats them so harshly and so easily. Like, what’s with the glares and that tone? They’re just asking you questions about how their daughter became Deaf.
32. Regina’s line was “I’m going.” The signs I’m reading are I’M LEAVING. (AROUND? AREA?) Her pointer finger made a circular movement that indicated something about the space.
33. And her, Ks, man…it still seems so unstable. Straighten it up! Make it more confident!
34. What? Your middle name isn’t Paloma. Just because Daphne’s a vegetarian doesn’t mean you would’ve been. But the rest of that was true.
35. For some reason, this wasn’t CC’d, but Regina said, COME INSIDE. IT’S COLD. SCHOOL TOMORROW. Then, you could probably guess that Daphne gave her the universal sign for “one minute”.
36. Yep, doesn’t matter how loudly you call after her. She’s still Deaf.
37. Random yet typical noises one would hear if they could, which John wants Daphne to experience.
38. Staring dramatically at the front door of his biological daughter’s home.
39. Dude, was that supposed to be Toby holding baby Bay???
40. A 16-year-old girl has an identity crisis and it’s not a phase. It’s legit.
41. I’m not a big piercer unless it’s of the ears, but that stud in her nose would’ve looked cuter as a diamond. That’s my opinion anyway.
42. Bay is really trying at this rebel phase thing, but I’m not seeing it. I doubt she’s allowed to light cigarette that indoors, is she?
43. Kathryn: What are you doing? Bay: Just living the life I was supposed to live. Me: With your logic, you’re saying that everything about Daphne would’ve been you, but Daphne doesn’t smoke. She doesn’t have a pierced nose. I’m not much of a psychiatrist, but I think someone needs Mommy and Daddy’s attention.
44. I really like this debate between John and Regina because it shows both sides of the cochlear implant conversation. It definitely feels realistic to me, considering the fact that once you have the surgery done, you can’t go back. It can’t be undone, so it’s a one-shot thing. That’s why it’s so controversial within families: if the child ends up not liking it, they can’t just quit like it’s some forced hobby.
45. Her: She’s my daughter. Him: She’s my daughter, too. Me: And you’ve never even slept together!
46. The first-ever completely signed conversation! #CueDeafApplause
47. I wish I could turn off these CCs when they sign, so I could practice my comprehension, but then, Netflix adds the captions if I turn them off anyway.
48. Captions: “You caught a virus.” Me: Technically, he signed, YOU BECAME SICK.
49. The background lyrics are literally “I can hear, but I can’t hear.”
50. Liam fingerspelling his name, haha.
51. That’s true. It’s basically Deaf Law. A Deaf person has to give you your name sign. There’s no significant reason, just tradition. I wonder if you can change your name sign though. Mine doesn’t really reflect my personality anymore. Can a Deaf person rename you?
52. Wow, don’t explain to her that the bell rang. Just ditch, why don’t you?
53. Daphne said, “…ask him directly”, but signed ASK HIM YOURSELF. Is that significant? It’s one of those things where the Deaf person knows exactly what they’re saying so they don’t have to sign exactly what they’re saying. As long as the language is still natural for them, it’s not as confusing to mix it up a bit.
54. “It’s just not polite to talk about Deaf people in the third person.” So basically what I said earlier. If there is an interpreter, they should take on that role during conversations.
55. Daphne said, but didn’t sign, “He isn’t actually around Deaf people that often”, but resumes signing after that.
56. Is it “busses” or “buses”? According to Microsoft Word, they’re both words. I think it’s “buses”. The captions said “busses”.
57. Technically, Emmett didn’t say the “my whole life” part. I think. When you’re going to say something involving time (like “everyday” or “for the past five years”), you sign that first. If I can read this correctly: BECAUSE EVERY-WEEK TALK-WITH-MORONS LIKE-YOU?
58. Speaking of which, why is Emmett so ignorant of Toby? Obviously, Toby’s not getting the sarcastic vibe, but Daphne’s like, “WTF?”
59. In one shot, Emmett looked directly at J&K, but in the next, he is facing forward again. It was sorta scary. Like, “Haha, I’ve got your daughter” even though he hasn’t met them yet.
60. She rode her bike all the way to East Riverside? Why not take her car? It certainly would’ve made transporting her template easier.
61. I wonder if Vanessa Marano dabbles in art a little bit. It does sort of seem like she knows what she’s doing.
62. So why does she keep doing street art? Is it a way of public expression? Some sort of cry for help? Artistic recognition?
63. Bay used a fake I.D. to buy alcohol. Okay, I get that. Did she specifically say her name was Daphne or was the person who called Regina being vague by just saying, “Your daughter has just been arrested”?
64. Actually, I’ve never had a fake I.D. You saying I’m a nobody, Bay? Huh?
65. A precinct isn’t really the best place for Battle of the Moms.
66. And I like how none of the cops in the precinct even care. They’re staring, but nobody’s doing anything about it.
67. I’ve always wondered why Daphne had to sign when she was in a room full of Hearing people, but then I thought, “I mutter. I’m sure if my family knew ASL, I’d be using it for them too, so they could understand me more.” I suppose using ASL provides clarity to mispronounced words.
68. In ASL, you have an imaginary, designated box from the top of your head to your chest. That’s your signing area. There is no sign that requires you to reach down your leg or way above your head. This box is called the signing space. You basically have to be Goldilocks when you figure out your own box: not too large, but not too small. Regina’s box, when she explained where Bay could’ve went, was a smidge too big.
69. Hmm…I wonder why Daphne pounded the table to get her mom’s attention. That’s how you get a Deaf person’s attention, but Regina is Hearing. She could just say, “Hey, Mom?” Force of habit, probably.
70. I like how Bay already has a name sign. I don’t think the girls have spent enough time together at all really, for Daphne to give her one. Bay’s name is short enough to fingerspell until she gets her own name sign.
71. Regina’s monologue is so pretty, but way too choppy. Like, that really bothers me. It’s like Glee ruining a song: once released, the atrocity is etched into entertainment history for eternity.
72. HAPPENS took up waaaaaay too much signing space.
73. WANT doesn’t really take up the entire arm. It’s just a teeny elbow gesture.
74. She just signed STUPID with an A handshape. I can sort of see why it’d look like that if she’d used S instead, but the actual sign for “stupid” is the same, but with a V handshape.
75. Signing space. Smaller.
76. RIGHT goes from the chin and onto the other hand. The dominant hand (which is the one that moves) isn’t already there.
77. Yeah, I’m basically just critiquing the mom’s signing now.
78. “Let them love you for who you are…” With that specific camerawork, you just know that refocus on Regina’s hands was intentional. Like, the side angle is a new thing for the signing because that’s where they want the audience to focus on. It’s like a subtle wake-up call.
79. You forgot to sign BE, Regina.
80. Is it really safe for her to be outside in the dark like that? I mean, what were you thinking, Bay? I know Batman searches for trouble to stop at night, but there are still creeps out there who love travelling at night. And you’re the perfect prey!
81. Okay, seriously, Bay! That is very creepy! I mean, is it even worse since Daphne couldn’t even hear her shuffling about outside? That the only thing she could do to understand the situation was see what was happening?
82. Seriously, I think this is their first actual conversation, just the two of them.
83. Daphne: Behind this sweet smile? Axe murderer. Me: Irony, because Bay is Axe GIRL!
84. Daphne: I can hear the beat if the music is loud. Very loud. Me: That’s true. It’s really cute watching Deaf people dancing to music with a strong bass. Most of the time, it’s less about hearing, but more about feeling the vibrations. You find it habitual to tell them to lower the volume because you yourself can hear how badly that could damage their headphones, but they actually need those strong vibrations in order to enjoy music.
85. I know that some Deaf people use oral speech, so I’m wondering how they know the volume of their own voice. When I listen to music, I never realize how loud my voice actually is when I’m speaking. I think I’m talking in mezzo piano, but really, my voice is in forte. Being a singer, you’d think that my voice would know the difference. If I can’t even determine that, how can a person who can’t even distinguish the difference?
86. “I can’t believe I’m Puerto Rican. I’ve been taking French for nine years.” Lol what were the chances?
87. I only took Spanish101, so let’s see if I’ve still got it without thinking of the actual translation which will be stated seconds afterward… “She is exactly…” Yeah, I can’t do that. But Regina said, “For that is…preoccupied”?!
88. From the side, Regina does look like J.Lo, which is fine because Constance Marie once played her mother in Selena even though she is only four years older than J.Lo.
89. “You are stuck with two mothers whether you like it or not.” Me: And they’re not even gay!
90. So rich they have a guest HOUSE. Most people only have guest bedrooms. They have an entire HOUSE devoted to guests.
91. That mover who’s listening to music looks a lot like Jesse Williams, who plays Jackson Avery on “Grey’s Anatomy”.
92. Hehe, oh yeah! The other Kennishes haven’t met Adriana! Well, except for John. So basically, that’s some random Hispanic woman who suddenly thinks that she lives in their guest house.
93. Ironically, the hands on Daphne’s shirt aren’t in ASL. They just wanted to spell out “PEACE”.
94. Regina brings up her sobriety like she actually expected Kathryn to know that. What’s with the attitude, Gina? And she’s not even saying it with pride. It’s like she’s saying, “Thanks for trying to get me to drink, but I’m an alcoholic. Take your booze and shove it up your–” okay, she’s not saying THAT, but close.
95. Her proposal is so reasonable yet I feel like I wouldn’t take it because she said it so bitchy. Like, isn’t that the way the villain in a movie would say something like that? Hahaha! Hey, guys, maybe she could be REGINA George.
96. And now, she brings up her curiosity about her paternity. Understandable.
97. How did Emmett even find the place in a world after MapQuest?! You can’t really place a GPS on the dashboard of your motorbike. Although I suppose now, you can place your phone on something between yourself and the dash. (I saw an iPhone 6 commercial where it was being used as a speedometer for a motorcyclist.)
98. Simple question invites in a cryptic answer.
99. And why was her answer voiced?
100. Dramatic staring off into the distance at the life that could’ve been, which became the life I now have.